Sunday 14th December 2014

December is galloping along at a fair pace. I’ve been snotty for most of it, having fallen foul of a thuggish cold virus that Shane brought into the house. It barely touched him, he had a few sneezes, a bit of a runny nose and that was it. He booted its arse and gave it its marching orders. It checked out Dick, but he flashed his credentials and it decided he was too posh for a common cold virus to inhabit. It passed him over in favour of beating the living shit out of me. I was bedridden for a couple of days and I’ve still got a hacking cough. I could call ships to shore with it. It bloody hurts.

Apart from battling germs I’ve been busy with card and gift buying, and not just on my own behalf. God forbid that the men folk do their own buying. It will make the national news if either of them is ever sighted in Clintons poking through the festive cards in search of offerings for family, friends and colleagues. Camera crews from across the planet will congregate outside to record the event. I’m like Mr Christmas in our house. I do it all from buying to wrapping. Shane scribbles his name on the inside of Christmas cards, and that’s him done. He doesn’t even lick his own envelopes. It’s houseboy spit that seals all outgoing cards from the quasi mansion.

I’m gearing up for the annual battle of the festive ornaments. As documented in ‘Christmas at Leo’s’ the season of goodwill engenders mixed and often painful feelings in me, something I’ve grown to recognise over the years, and to manage in some measure, though not always easily. If there is one thing I do enjoy unreservedly about the Yuletide fest, it’s the decorative trimmings. My Chrissy tree has been delivered and is languishing in the garden, waiting for me to put it in the holder and bring it indoors to be dressed.

Now, I don’t know about elsewhere in the world, but there’s been a bit of a stag thing going on in interior décor circles here in Blighty. It’s stags and deer on everything. I’ve been a bit naughty and succumbed to it in a big and expensive way. God knows why. I’ve bought cushions and new bedding adorned with wintry stag scenes. I’ve bought stag candleholders and ornaments, even a pair of rather grand stag bookends and a stag lamp. If I saw anything with a stag on it, I bought it. I’ve got stag baubles for the tree. Even my festive wrapping paper and gift tags have a stag theme. To be honest, I’m all stagged out.

At the moment, everything is stashed in the den. It’s like Woburn Abbey deer park up there. I just hope Shane doesn’t stumble in, not with a gun in his hand. There’ll be a bloodbath. As far as he’s concerned, stags and deer are something you shoot, skin, butcher and eat. Mind you, if he sees how much I’ve spent, deer won’t be the only thing getting skinned around here. I can’t decide whether it’s best to sneak everything out bit by bit, you know, stagger it, a cushion here, an ornament there, or just go for it in one fell swoop and bring the entire herd out while he’s at work. We’ll see how brave I’m feeling.

We’re hosting Sunday lunch today, so I’ve got a lot to do. As ever, many thanks for all emails received. Ciao for now, Peeps!

Monday 22nd December 2014

Just popped in to deliver my Christmas card. Things are hectic my end. I will catch up after the jollities are over.  Click Here!

January 2015


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