Monday 1st February 2021

Returning from my morning run today I stood by the kitchen window scoffing a handful of walnuts. As I ate, I watched tits and sparrows alighting on the garden feeders, squabbling and jostling to get their share. Below the feeders a couple of blackbirds patrolled waiting for crumbs to fall. Blackbirds are ground feeders and usually I scatter suet pellets for them to eat, but I’m waiting for a fresh order to be delivered. I felt guilty. It was really frosty and the poor buggers would need food to give them energy to keep warm. What to feed them? I had walnuts in plenty, but blackies have soft beaks and struggle with hard nuts (bird facts with Gillibran Brown.)

Then I spotted them festering in the fruit bowl - two big bananas covered in brown age spots. They were practically fermenting. Usually I eat a nana post run, but for some reason I’ve gone right off them lately, hence they have lain neglected. Overripe nanas are great for making breads and cakes, but to be honest I’m suffering from lockdown baking fatigue and the thought of faffing on left me cold. I didn’t like the thought of binning them though, for I am a thrifty houseboy who hates waste. The solution was clear - a banana brekkie for the blackbirds. Hang on a minute. Do blackbirds like bananas? They like a peck of apple, but I’d never tried them on foreign fare. Google time.
According to the search results, blackbirds are indeed partial to a bit of nana. My heart was lightened by this news and I duly peeled the brown mottled fruits and chucked them out into the frost-rimed garden before standing by the window to watch the feasting begin. Grateful blackbirds would surely flock to enjoy my largess. I imagined them leaping into the air and spinning with joy like ballet dancers wearing jet packs.  I waited and sure enough the blackbirds came. They strutted around, searching for worms and pecking up the crumbs dropped from the fat ball feeders while shunning the bananas. I kept checking, but the bananas remained untouched. There may be blackbirds in other parts of the country that like nothing better than tucking into a bit of mushy banana, but not the ones in my garden. Fussy bastards.

Oh well, Dear Diary, if nothing else at least I’ve written in you for the first time this year thus proving I’m still above ground and as nonsensical as ever. I wish I had fresh progress to report regarding Revs, but after gaining great strides before the festive season I’ve slowed again. Sorry.

So far 2021 is just as shit as 2020, if not shitter, but I count myself fortunate to be alive and well and to have loved ones safe too. That said I do miss life as it used to be. Working from home isn’t exactly a problem for me as working from home is what I do. However, pre-covid, the everyday mundane workload was interspersed with trawling the shops, having a coffee, meeting friends, arranging dinner parties and catering for houseguests. God, I’d even welcome Leo critiquing my Sunday lunch efforts while bragging that his Yorkshires never fall flat. I’d go so far as to say I’d welcome having Penny and the muppet drop in for a visit - actually no, scrap that last bit, the muppet maybe, but not her.

The world has shrunk for us all. Virtual socialising isn’t the same as the real thing and sometimes I wonder whether we will ever return to some kind of normality. Here in Blighty we have the most incompetent government in living memory. Their handling of the pandemic is an ongoing disaster with infections and deaths climbing ever higher due to a series of blunders and misjudgements on the part of ministers. Time after time they’ve put profit before people. Social murder I call it, but don’t get me started ranting or I’ll never stop.

Takes a deep breath.

Okay, I’m done. I have uttered nonsense and shall be on my way. I will endeavour to pick up the Revs quill again soon. In the meantime, dear peeps, stay safe, and if you're offered a jab in the arm please take it. X


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