Friday 5th June 2020

Dear Diary,

Just dropping in to talk salad. For lunch today I decided to make salad nicoise for the men folk using a tin of anchovies I found lurking at the back of a kitchen cupboard. It was still within date, just. I’m not super keen on anchovies. I find them a bit overpowering and they tend to repeat on me for hours afterwards. I substituted something else for the fishy fiends when making up my own salad.

I called the men folk to the table and placed their eggy-fishy salads in front of them before fetching my own salad and sitting down with them. There was a brief silence during which they exchanged stunned looks. The scene that followed:

Dick - “What the hell are you eating?”
Me - “Salad.”
Dick - “I can see its salad. What have you got with it?”
Me - “Mushy peas.”
From the look on their faces I might as well have said baby brains.
Shane - “That’s disgusting.”
Dick - “Revolting. How could you, Gilli? I mean really. Those things are horrible enough at the best of times, but on a salad? It’s obscene.”
Me - “I like mushy peas.”
Shane - “With fish and chips perhaps, if you must, but not on a salad. It doesn’t make sense.”
Me (rattled) - “There are no rules about what you can or can’t have with salad. In fact the only rule when it comes to salad is that there are no rules. Salad is a free art form.”
Shane (pointing at my plate) - “That isn’t art, not unless you consider graffiti to be art.”
Me - “I do as it happens. Look at Banksy. You can’t deny he’s an artist.”
Dick - “I doubt he’d ever pair mushy peas with salad. It would be taking subversive too far even for him.”
Me (primly) - “I don’t care. I’m having a mushy pea salad. Deal with it.”

Shaking their heads in sad resignation they ate their conventional salad while I ate my subversive one. I enjoyed it all the more for knowing that after all this time I can still surprise/horrify them. I really do love mushy peas. They’re a true northern delicacy. I often have a bowl of them as a hot snack with loads of mint sauce or even lemon juice stirred in. Lush! Word of warning if you've never had mushy peas - they make you fart.

Regarding my fund chapter. I have now almost sold enough to cover site and domain fees for another year, so a massive thank you to everyone who bought a copy. I just want the site to pay its own way. It's a matter of pride I suppose, a nod to being a 'proper author.' In answer to a question, no, it isn’t available on Amazon and won’t be. It’s only on Smashwords. Thanks again.

Ciao for now.



 

Tuesday 9th June 2020

 

Dear Diary,

 

Just lurching in to say a couple of sincere ta very muches. Ta very much to those who sent birthday wishes, so kind. Also ta very much to all who bought a copy of my Valenswines chapter, again, so kind. The diary will now stay live for another year, unless some prick complains and gets me taken down, ha-ha.

 

Everyday life is beginning to edge back to a kind of normality, but with reservations. It’s going to be that way for a while for everyone on the planet I’d say.

 

I’m taking a bit of a break from the diary to work on Revs and try to get the job done. I kind of regret not making my first farewell a more permanent one. I allowed my need to yatter and natter to overcome good sense. I should have stayed gone.

 

I want to wish you all the best, especially those who have been regular readers and emailers. You’re all brilliant.

 

Good luck everyone. Enjoy the summer or winter wherever you are. Stay safe and I’ll ‘see’ you again when I’ve got news to announce regarding Revs. If I feel tempted to pop in to chunter in-between times I’ll get Dick to tie my hands behind my back so I can't type - he’ll enjoy that.

 

 

Lots of love,

 

Gillibran Brown. XX


 

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